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Table of contents
PREFACE
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-6
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-1
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-2
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-3-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

 

 

Regarding his sexual life, X. made the following communication: 

"During the last two years I have become convinced of the 

perversion of my sexual instinct. I had often previously thought 

that in me the impulse was not quite normal, but it is only 

lately that I have become convinced of my complete perversion. I 

have never read or heard of any case in which the sexual feelings 

were of the same kind. Although I can feel a lively inclination 

towards superior representatives of the female sex, and have 

twice felt something like love, the sight or the recollection 

even of a beautiful woman have never caused sexual excitement." 

In the two exceptional instances mentioned it appears that X. had 

an inclination to kiss the women in question, but that the 

thought of coitus had no attraction. "In my voluptuous dreams, 

connected with the emission of semen, women in seductive 

situations have never appeared. I have never had any desire to 

visit a _puella publica_. The love-stories of my fellow-students 

seemed very silly, dances and balls were a horror to me, and only 

on very rare occasions could I be persuaded to go into society. 

It will be easy to guess the diagnosis in my case: I suffer from 

the sexual attraction of my own sex, I am a lover of boys. 

 

"You cannot imagine what a world of thoughts, wishes, feelings 

and impulses the words 'knabe,' 'pais,' 'garcon,' 'boy,' 

'ragazzo' have for me; one of these words, even in an unmeaning 

clause of a translation-book, calls before me the whole sum of 

associations which in course of time have become bound up with 

this idea, and it is only with an effort that I can scare away 

the wild band. This group of thoughts shows a wonderful mixture 

of warm sensuality and ideal love, it unites my lowest and 

highest impulses, the strength and the weakness of my nature, my 

curse and my blessing. My inclination is especially towards boys 

of the age of 12 to 15; though they may be rather younger or 

older. That I should prefer beautiful and intelligent boys is 

comprehensible. I do not want a prostitute, but a friend or a 

son, whose soul I love, whom I can help to become a more perfect 

man, such as I myself would willingly be. 

 

"When I myself belonged to that happy age (i.e., below 15) I had 

no dearer wish than to possess a friend of similar tastes. I have 

sought, hoped, waited, grieved, and been at last disillusioned, 

overcome by desire and despair, and have not found that friend. 

Even later the hope often reappeared, but always in vain, and I 

cannot boast of that sure recognition which one reads of in the 

autobiographies of Urnings. I do not know personally a single 

fellow-sufferer. It is also doubtful whether such an 

acquaintanceship would greatly help me, for I have a very 

peculiar conception of homosexuality. As you will see, I have 

little more in common with what are called paederasts than sexual 

indifference to the female sex, and I often ask myself: 'Does any 

other man in the whole world feel like you? Are you alone in the 

earth with your morbid desires? Are you a pariah of pariahs, or 


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