Main  Contacts  
Table of contents
PREFACE
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-6
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-1
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-2
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-3-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

fulfilling some imperative natural necessity. 

 

"I naturally devote the greatest attention to my own digestion. 

With painful conscientiousness I go to stool every day at the 

same hour; if the operation does not come off to my satisfaction 

I feel not so much physical as mental discomfort. To this quite 

useful hygienic interest became associated at puberty a sensual 

interest. Since my fourteenth year I have had no greater 

enjoyment than to defecate undressed (I do not do so now) after 

having first carefully examined the distension of my abdomen. In 

summer I would go into the woods, undress myself in a secluded 

spot and indulge in the voluptuous pleasures of defecation. I 

would sometimes combine with this a bath in a stream. I would 

exhaust my imagination in the effort to invent specially 

enjoyable variations, longed for a desert island where I could go 

about naked, fill my body with much nourishing food, hold in the 

excrement as long as possible and then discharge it in some 

subtly-thought-out spot. These practices and ideas often caused 

erections and later on emissions, but the genitals played no part 

in my conceptions; their movements were uncomfortable and gave no 

pleasure. 

 

"I soon longed to be associated in these orgies with some boy of 

the same age, but I wanted not only a companion in my passion, 

but also a real friend. Since there could be no question of 

masturbation or paederasty, our love would have been limited to 

kisses, embraces, and--as a compensation for coitus--defecation 

together. That would have been perfect bliss to me. I will spare 

you the unaesthetic contents of my voluptuous dreams. But I 

remained without a companion, and, therefore, without real 

enjoyment. [He has, however, on various occasions experienced 

erections, and even emissions, on seeing, by chance, men or boys 

defecate.] Hinc illae lacrimae; the excitement over my own 

defecation only took place _faute de mieux_. 

 

"I knew very well that my thoughts and practices were impure and 

contemptible. Ah! how often, when the intoxication was over, have 

I thrown myself remorsefully on my knees, praying to God for 

pardon! For some weeks I repressed my longing; but at last it was 

too strong for me, I tried to justify myself and fell into my 

vice anew. That I was guilty of licentiousness and loved boys 

sexually first became clear to me later on, when I knew the 

significance of erection as a sign of sexual excitement. 

 

"No one can imagine with what demoniacal joy I am possessed at 

the thought of a beautiful naked boy whose abdomen is filled as 

the result of long abstinence from stool. The thought powerfully 

excites me, a flood of passion goes through my blood and my limbs 

tremble. I would never grow tired of feeling that belly and 

looking at it. My passion would express itself in tempestuous 

caresses, and the boy would have to assume various positions in 

order to show off the beauty of his form, i.e., to bring the 

parts in question into better view. To observe defecation would 

still further increase this peculiar enjoyment. If the boy's 


Page 3 from 6:  Back   1   2  [3]  4   5   6   Forward