Main  Contacts  
Table of contents
PREFACE
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-6
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-1
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-2
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-3-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

functions of the sexual organs in coitus. These were explained to 

me by a young male servant, who, however, told me nothing of 

conception or pregnancy. At first I was very little interested, 

as it did not immediately occur to me to associate my own erotic 

experiences with the matter of these revelations; but under the 

faithful tuition of my new instructor I soon began to desire 

normal coitus, and my interest in the sexual affairs of animals 

weakened accordingly. His teachings went still further, for he 

masturbated before me, then persuaded me to masturbate him, and 

finally practiced coitus inter femora upon me. He also tried to 

masturbate me, but was unable to produce an orgasm, though I 

found the experiment mildly pleasurable. 

 

Early in my eleventh year we left the farm and lived in the city 

for several months. In the meantime there had been no 

developments in my sexual life beyond what has already been 

indicated. In the city I found so much to interest and amuse me 

that I almost entirely forgot my erotic day-dreams and desires. 

Though my chief playmates were two girls of about my own age I 

never thought of attempting sexual intercourse with them, as I 

might easily have done, for they were much wiser and more 

experienced in these things than myself. Shortly before the end 

of our stay in town an older schoolmate explained to me as much 

of the process of reproduction as is usually known by a 

precocious youngster of 12 years, but I firmly refused to credit 

his statements. He adduced the fact of lactation in proof of the 

correctness of his views, but I had been too thoroughly steeped 

in supernaturalism to be very amenable to naturalistic evidence 

of this sort and remained obdurate. But the suggestion stayed 

with me and perplexed me not a little; when we returned to the 

farm I began to watch the reproductive process in animals. 

 

The following two years were decidedly unpleasant. I was growing 

rapidly and was sluggish, awkward and stupid. At school I was 

more unpopular than ever and seemed to have a positive genius 

for doing the wrong thing. On the rare occasions when my 

companions admitted me to their counsels I was a willing dupe and 

catspaw, with the result that I was much in trouble with my 

teachers. Being morbidly sensitive I suffered keenly under these 

circumstances and, as my health was not at all good, I often made 

of my frequent headaches excuses to stay at home, where I would 

lie abed brooding over my small troubles or, more often, dreaming 

erotic day-dreams and making repeated attempts to produce an 

orgasm. But though these efforts were accompanied by the most 

lustful thoughts and my imagination created situations of 

oriental extravagance, I was 13 years old when they first met 

with success. I remember the occasion very distinctly, the more 

so because I thought of it much and bitterly when shortly 

afterwards I tried to abandon a habit which the family "doctor 

book" assured me must result in every variety of damnation. At 

the moment, however, I was greatly surprised and gratified and 


Page 4 from 5:  Back   1   2   3  [4]  5   Forward