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Table of contents
PREFACE
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-6
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-1
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-2
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-3-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

should be greatly disillusioned should I ever perform coitus; and 

I greatly regret that I have not been able to test this 

conviction and so round out and complete this "history." 

 

It may be worth while to say a word about my religious 

experiences, as, in many cases, they are closely bound up with 

the sexual impulse. I was never "converted," but on a dozen or 

more occasions approached the crisis more or less closely. The 

dominant emotion in these experiences was always fear, sometimes 

with anger and despair intermixed in varying proportions. A 

complete analysis of these experiences is, of course, impossible, 

but the various pleasurable feelings of which converts spoke in 

the revivals which I attended were a closed book to me. Following 

my revival-meeting experiences came a few days spent in a sort of 

moral exaltation during which I eschewed all my habits of which 

conventional morality disapproved, save masturbation, and felt no 

small satisfaction with my moral conditions. I became a 

first-rate Pharisee. Toward the women who had figured in my day 

dreams I suddenly conceived the chastest affection, resolutely 

smothering every sensual thought and fancy when thinking of them, 

and putting in place of these elements ideal love, 

self-sacrifice, knightly devotion--Sunday-school Garden-of-Eden 

pictures with a mediaeval, romantic coloring. These day-dreams 

were always sexual, involving situations of extreme complexity 

and monumental silliness. Masturbation was always continued and 

usually with increased frequency. The end of these periods was 

always abrupt and much like awaking from a dream in which the 

dreamer has been behaving in a manner to arouse his own disgust. 

They were followed by feelings of sheepishness and self-contempt 

mingled with anger and a dislike of all things having to do with 

religion. My inability to pass the conversion crisis and a 

growing contempt for empty enthusiasm finally led me to a saner 

attitude toward religion, from which I passed easily into 

religious scepticism; and later the study of philosophy and 

science, and particularly of psychology, banished the last 

lingering remnant of faith in a supernatural agency and led me 

to the passion for facts and indifference to values which have 

caused me to be often called "dead to all morality." 


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