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Table of contents
PREFACE
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-6
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-1
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-2
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-3-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

according to the directions of J., brought up a pretty girl to 

mind. Just before Sunday school G., our chief reprobate, and the 

rest of us would hunt out what we considered to be nasty texts of 

Scripture. The chapter concerning the whoredoms of Aholah and 

Aholibah gave me an especial pleasure. T. mentioned the giggling 

that occurred at prayers in the lower dormitory when the details 

of Esau's birth were read out. A few days before G. was 

expelled--for exactly what cause I do not know--he told me of how 

greatly he enjoyed coitus on his grandmother's sofa with a girl 

of fifteen. When I went home on the boat for holidays I noted the 

large, black-haired penis of the strong boy of our school. He 

occupied a state-room with me, but made no sexual overtures. 

 

Since my twelfth year I had been wrapped up all summer long in a 

boy who was six months my senior. We slept together constantly, 

but not once did we think of obtaining mutual gratification. On 

the contrary, we held up high ideals to each other and frowned on 

masturbation. I took delight in saying that I never had handled 

myself, and never would do so. Even at the height of my 

"auto-erotic" period, I skillfully concealed my habits from all 

my boy friends. A neurotic solo choir boy friend once spoke of 

obtaining ejaculation, whereupon I expressed utter ignorance of 

such an act, little hypocrite that I was. This boy told how the 

house servants joked with him about coitus and made laughing 

lunges at his organs. 

 

But much as I loved my chum, my most passionate regard went out 

in my thirteenth year to N., a chubby, blue-eyed, choir-boy of 

12. He was a pretty boy to any eye. He was not gifted, except in 

water-sports, and anything but popular either with girls or with 

boys; yet I grew warm at the mention of his name. He did not care 

a fig for me. From first to last I had no consciousness of the 

sexual nature of my passion, and the thought of doing more than 

embrace and kiss him in an innocent manner never crossed my mind. 

For two summers I had nights of tossing on my bed (although I 

almost never was sleepless for any cause) when I would see his 

dear face and form, in and out of the swimming pool, or engaged 

perhaps in singing or in showing his beautiful teeth. I seldom 

was smitten with little girls, and I found myself embarrassed in 

their company after my ninth year; yet I thought well enough of 

their looks and ways to enjoy their company at dances. The girls 

liked me in a platonic way, for I was accounted a good, big, 

kind, blundering boy with a helping hand for the smallest fry. 

 

During the summer after I was 13, I imagined myself in the early 

morning, when I was half awake, as persuading my wife to have 

coitus with me. In the course of my spoken words I kept my hand 

under my scrotum. 

 

A plump girl-cousin of my own age was visiting at my uncle's 

during the summer after I was 13. With her I greatly desired to 

satisfy myself, but I could not be sure that my boy cousin (5 

years old) might not find us out, even though she should consent. 

Once when we three were in the hay-loft a wave of lust rolled 


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