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Table of contents
PREFACE
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-6
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-1
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-2
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-3-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

over me, but I made no proposal. Night and gaslight greatly 

increased my _libido_. On one occasion my aunt had gone to the 

village for ice-cream, and L. and I were left alone in the 

dining-room. I took her on my lap and had a powerful erection. I 

almost asked her to play sexually with me in the barn, but 

instead I spoke of an imaginary girl, the first letters of whose 

successive names spelled an indecent word for coitus--a word 

known to almost every Anglo-Saxon child, I fear. L. laughed, but 

gave no sign of assent. For a neighboring girl of 15 I felt such 

a drawing that early in the morning I would roll on the floor 

with my erect organ in my hand in riotous imagining of coitus 

with her. I walked with her in the woods and sat at her feet, but 

although I felt instinctively that she would satisfy me without 

much persuasion, yet I _could not_ ask her. One night I started 

to church in order to walk home with her, and lead her (if 

possible) to a field where we might gratify ourselves (I picked 

out the exact grassy spot where we might lie); but when I was 

almost at the church door my "moral sense" (if that is what it 

was) rose and dragged me home again. 

 

During the swimming hour I watched the genitals of the boys, 

comparing them carefully in the most minute details. Circumcised 

organs affected me as being disagreeable, and men's hairy, coarse 

genitals I abhorred. 

 

When 13 I became acquainted with the new mail-boy at the inn. He 

was a city "street-boy," and got me into smoking cigarettes 

occasionally. I did not definitely take up smoking until I was 

16. He told me that a mason once offered him ten cents if he 

would masturbate the man in a cellar. The boy said that he 

refused. I slept a few times with an ill-favored boy of fine 

parentage. He was of my own age, and I had played with him in a 

natural way for several years, but my increasing sexual desires 

led me to mutually masturbate with him, and even unsuccessfully 

to attempt with him mutual paedicatio. On the morning after our 

nights of sensuality I felt "gone" and miserable, but not 

repentant. By afternoon I was myself again. My relations with G. 

were purely animal, for I disliked his jealous disposition, his 

horse-laugh, his features, his form, his withdrawn scrotum and 

his undersized penis. At home in the evening I often found myself 

inflamed with a mental picture of active _fellatio_ with him, but 

I never performed this act, so far as I remember. 

 

One of my great sexual desires was to walk along a fence on which 

a girl was seated. In order that I might feast my eyes on her 

pudenda she must not wear drawers. 

 

When I turned 14 I had been, from my unusual size, in long 

trousers for several months. I entered a private day-school and 

progressed brilliantly in my studies. I kept up masturbation 

almost daily, sometimes twice a day, both in the water closet and 

in bed. I can remember ejaculating before urination in the school 

_cabinet_. At night I often found myself longing for the return 

of my sister, seven years my junior, in order that I might 


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