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Table of contents
PREFACE
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-6
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-1
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-2
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-3-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

genitals and swinging her to and fro. She giggled with pleasure. 

That summer I began to experience the evil effects of the 

masturbation which I had practiced daily for a year and a half. 

Pimples began to break out on my chin (my complexion up to this 

time had been white and delicate). The family ascribed my 

condition to digestive difficulties. In playing with the boys and 

girls I found myself seized with a terrible shyness and a 

tendency to look down and weep. I had lost all the courage I 

had--it had never been great--in the presence of a crowd of 

children. I was fairly at ease with a single companion. My 

self-consciousness was something more painful to me than I can 

convey in words. At home I wept in my room and cursed myself for 

a baby. I little realized the cause of my nervous collapse. Yet I 

had too robust a frame not to be able to sleep and to play hard. 

The sympathetic pleasure which I had found in swinging my 

girl-cousin to and fro I now doubled by letting a 7-year-old boy 

ride cock-horse on my feet. I experienced an erection during the 

process, and I almost induced ejaculation when I tickled the boy 

with my feet in the region of his genitals. To see his shrinking, 

giggling joy gave me an exquisite sexual thrill. I longed to 

sleep with the boy, but I was afraid of causing comment. At the 

new and large boarding school which I entered in the fall my most 

lustful dreams and ejaculations were concerned with standing this 

little boy on the footboard of a bed, taking down his 

knickerbockers, and performing _fellatio_ on him. But I dreamed 

also of natural coitus. I fell in love with the handsome, 

12-year-old son of the aged headmaster. The boy, O., sat next me 

at the table, and I never tired of gazing at him. It gave me a 

special sense of pleasure to look at him when he wore a certain 

flowing, scarlet, four-in-hand necktie. But O. was not attracted 

to me--for one thing I was in a disagreeably pimpled 

condition--and I could not induce him to linger in my room nor to 

sleep with me. My passion for O. did not diminish, and it rose to 

its supremacy on the evening when he appeared in our hallway (he 

roomed on the girls' side of the house and hinted at the sexual 

sights that he saw) in a costume of white satin, lace, and wings. 

He was ready for a costume party. 

 

I now masturbated less frequently, for I was beginning to 

appreciate the horrible consequences of my indulgence. I had 

frequent pollutions, with dreams. My day was one long agony of 

fear. How I dreaded to go to sleep in the same bed with my older 

chum, who never made any advances beyond embracing me passively 

_cum erectione_ while he was asleep. My day was one long agony of 

fear. At meal time my feet constantly writhed in agony for fear 

that the headmaster's grown up young ladies should make fun of 

me, or that my lack of facial composure and my inability to look 

people in the eye might be commented upon. I tingled with 

apprehension, especially in the region of my stomach. Every nerve 

was taut in the effort I made to appear composed. I masturbated 


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