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Table of contents
PREFACE
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-6
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-1
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-2
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-3-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

 

 

 

HISTORY III.--The following narrative is written by a clergyman, 

age 40, unmarried:-- 

 

My childhood and early boyhood were unmarked by sexual phenomena, 

beyond occasional erections, which commenced when about 5 years 

of age, without any exciting causes. These were accompanied by 

some degree of excitement, of the same nature as that which I 

experienced in later years. I was absolutely ignorant of sexual 

matters, but always had an idea that the essential difference 

between man and woman was to be found in the genital organs. This 

was sometimes a matter for thought and curiosity. 

 

Being for many years an only child I saw little of other 

children, and formed the habit of amusing myself with making 

things--boats, houses, etc.--and acquired a taste for science. 

When I could read I preferred biography, history, and poetry to 

anything else. 

 

When I was 13 years old and at a large school I heard for the 

first time of coitus, but very imperfectly. For a few days it 

filled my thoughts and mind, but feeling it was too engrossing a 

subject and one which took me off better things, I put it out of 

my mind. Later, another boy gave me a fuller description of the 

matter, and I began to have a great desire to know more and to be 

old enough to practice it. I also discovered that boys 

masturbated, and about a year after tried the experiment for 

myself. This vice was largely indulged in by my school-fellows. 

It never occurred to me that it was sinful, until I was nearly 

16, when I came across a passage in Kenns's _Manual of 

Schoolboys_, in which it was hinted such things were wrong 

morally and spiritually. Previously I had felt it was an 

indelicate and shameful thing, and bad for health. This last idea 

was held as a solemn fact by all my boy friends. Gradually 

religion began to exert an influence over my sexual nature, 

obtaining as years passed a greater and greater restraining 

power. It is simply impossible for me to write a history of my 

sexual development without also describing the action which 

Christianity has had in determining its growth. The two have been 

so intimately bound together that my life history would not be a 

faithful record of facts if I left religion out of it. 

 

At school I took part, with great keenness, in cricket and 

foot-ball, and was very ambitious to excel in everything in which 

I took an interest, but I always had other tastes as well, which 

were more precious to me, for example, the love for science, 

history, and poetry. Until I was past 16 years my desire was 

simply for coitus, girls and women attracted me only as affording 

the means of gratifying this desire; but when I was nearly 17 I 

began to regard girls as beautiful objects, apart from this, and 

to desire their love and companionship. At the same time it 

dawned upon me that life held much of joy in the love of women 

and in domestic life--so henceforth I regarded them in a higher 

and purer light, and apart from sexual gratification. In fact, 

from this period till I was over 20, this idea so dominated my 

whole being that the lower side of my nature was entirely held in 


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