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Table of contents
PREFACE
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-1.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-2.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.4
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-3.5
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-4.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.1
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.2
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-5.3
EROTIC SYMBOLISM-6
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-1.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.3
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-2.4
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-3.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.1
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.2
THE MECHANISM OF DETUMESCENCE-4.3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-1
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-2
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-3
THE PSYCHIC STATE IN PREGNANCY-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-1.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-2.2
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-3-4
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.1
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT HISTORY-5.2
INDEX OF AUTHORS

each other. It seemed to corroborate this to a certain extent 

that A. always seemed more electric and pleasant to the touch 

when we had connection for love and not for lust. Leave it to 

Nature, I would say to myself. I began to feel how much my 

struggles, efforts and temperate living had improved me. I had 

more self-respect, though something of the old self-consciousness 

was still left. I did not get better continuously, but in an 

up-and-down zigzag. I still had moods of rage approaching madness 

and periods of neurotic depression. Long walks decidedly helped 

to cure me, and the sea, sun, wind, clouds and trees colored my 

dreams at night very sweetly. I frequently dreamed I was walking 

in orchards or forests, and a deeper, slightly melancholy but 

potent savor, as of a diviner destiny, was on my soul. 

 

After a long absence, during which she had frequently been ill, 

A. joined me. I could see she was recovering from fits, which I 

began to realize that she had more frequently in absence from me, 

and also from drinking, perhaps. She was small and thin, but 

fresh and sweet as honey, and all signs of fits and tempers 

passed away from her face, so wonderful in its changes. I had 

become so healthy through my abstinence, temperance and long 

walks that our meeting was a new revelation to me of how 

delicate, fragrant and divine a convalescent woman may be. She 

was glad and surprised to see me looking so well, and if she put 

her hand on my arm I felt a joyous thrill. I was certainly a 

better man for abstaining and she a better woman and I determined 

not to have connection unless we were carried away by our love. 

As a matter of fact we did not give way to excess, though we were 

very loving. I tried to persuade myself that we had not gone back 

to our old ways, but I could not do so long. 

 

Miss T. put in an appearance every day. She did not look so 

innocent, but as it was no business of mine I did not trouble. 

She seemed more attached to A. than ever.... A. was still very 

loving with me, but it was an effort to me to keep up to her 

pitch, and when A. proposed to go to Melbourne with Miss T, to 

sell off the furniture before settling in Adelaide, I was rather 

glad of the opportunity of abstaining from coitus and of watching 

myself to see if I again improved. When A. and Miss T. came to 

see me before going down to the steamer, A. was nearly crying and 

Miss T., changed from the old welcome friend, was not only pale 

and anxious, but looked guilty as if she had some treachery in 

her mind; she could not meet my eye. I thought less of it then 

than afterwards. And once more I took long walks at night and 

rose early to catch the freshness of the mornings. 

 

Some time before this I had read a book advocating a vegetarian 

diet, and at this time I chanced to read Pater's beautiful "Denys 

L'Auxerrois," the imaginary portrait of a young vine-dresser, who 

was attractive beyond ordinary mortals and lived, until his fall 

and deterioration, on fruit and water. The words, "a natural 

simplicity in living" remained in my memory. I resolved to read 


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